How do I get her back? I have heard this question one too many times in my 38 years of life; I have asked it a few times myself.
A break up is probably one of the most difficult things a man has to go through, especially if the woman does the leaving. It’s not just pride, really. See, if a man is truly in love, he loves a lot. He leaves all apprehension behind, there are no second guesses, and he is free of doubt. A man’s heartfelt “I love you” means a lot. It is so true that men have a more difficult time emotionally coping with a break up than a woman. But being a man, he would try to do everything in his power to get his ex back. He will not allow himself to bow to any kind of defeat. And the more he gets discouraged, the more he fights.
However, so many men just get frustrated because nothing seems to work. But the thing is, their strategies don’t work simply because they do not know how to do it right
To get her back, here’s my advice: K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple stupid!)
Give her time to breathe
Even if you so desperately want to get her back, never ever make her feel your desperation, it will get you nowhere. You CAN live without her for a couple of days. Now is the time to get out there. Hang out with your friends, try to be happy, or at least try to pretend to be happy. Don’t fret if you think she is miserable, she might be not. Cut all contact with her for a couple days. The more time she has to gather her feelings, the more chances she has to miss you.
In the meantime, use this time without her to do your own evaluation of the relationship. Think about why it happened and what you can do to fix it. Come up with a well thought of plan. The fifth day is usually the time a woman comes to her senses. Drop by her and tell her you are just checking how she. Keep it simple and friendly. Show her you are okay but you still care about her.
Make sure to show her that your ego is intact.
No matter how delicate you feel inside, you should do your best to exude confidence. History will testify that there is nothing sexier to a woman than a confident man. Hold your head up high, don’t stutter, and keep your first meeting after the break up short, make her want more of you. If you have not met yet and you happen to cross paths, don’t be awkward. Smile and wave. Give her a thumbs up to indicate you’re okay even if you are anything but.
Do not completely ignore her, though. Ignoring her will send her signals that you totally don’t care about her anymore or you are so hurt that you can’t even see her eye to eye. It’s a no win situation. Man up and just act cool.
Be friendly but don’t get too close
Give her as much space as she needs, but in case she calls you for something, don’t go rushing in and say I love you. A woman calling does not necessarily mean she wants you back. She might just need something or she is feeling lonely and still unsure. Make her feel that your okay, talk to her if she wishes, but don’t go running to her beck and call. Remember, women can be fickle minded, she might want you now and break your heart again tomorrow. Stay cool.
Be the man she met then
You might not be the same man she fell in love with. Try to recall what made her fall in love with you. After some time apart, and you get to meet again, let her know that that man still exists and you are aware that there still is room for improvement
If you totally love a woman, you definitely should do everything in your power to get her back. But get her back the RIGHT way and remember K.I.S.S… Don’t go begging, give her space, and give yourself time to know yourself better.
Get Her Back – 2011